I looked at a picture of my dad last night and for the first time, I didn’t recognize his features. I mean, I was trying to see him as a stranger might, but I took it too far. It made me cry in confusion and what confused me more was I braced myself for the swell of grief to take me out to the deep but she never came. So what does that say about me? Did I graduate from Grief? To miss him became my everything. If so, what does that say about me?
You wanna know what I think? I probably looked at his face and blinked one too many times. You know like when you say a word too much and it breaks apart in real time. It went from matter to dust. I bet that’s all it was. And if not, then my blinks were like a riptide that kept the swell at bay and the absence of her weight is what I miss tonight.